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Monday, September 23, 2013

Creep Van - DVD Horror Movie Review

Creep Van Poster
Creep Van is an extremely low-budget indie horror flick. Don’t be turned off by the title it’s not what you think. This isn’t a “free candy” van; you won't see child abductions or anything of the sort. What you will find with Creep Van is a literal killing machine. Everything about Creep Van screams “Bad Movie”. The acting is preposterous, yet one can’t help but like our main hero. Campbell (Brian Kolodziej) is a down-on-his-luck kid, who sleeps on his friend’s sofa and rides the bus to work. If only he had a car then he could ask the “hot girl” Amy (Amy Wehrell) on a date. Campbell gets his opportunity when he sees a ‘For Sale’ sign on the Creep Van. Unfortunately for Campbell the owner of said van is too busy killing prospective victims to answer his call. He continues to woo Amy, or at least attempts to woo her. There is almost no sexual tension between our leads.

**Spoiler Alert! If You haven't seen this movie yet...**

Creep Van
The story doesn’t go anywhere, and seems pointless. There is no logic behind our killer, why is he chasing Campbell? What saves this movie is the gory over-the-top kills. The Creep has some creative and ridiculous ways of killing his innocent victims.  Almost Human inc., who has done visual effects for The Crazies and Quarantine, does an awesome job with the gore. Nothing is realistic or believable but was done this way on purpose. Creep Van doesn't take itself seriously; it tries being like the Troma movies of the mid 80’s. Campbell’s boss is even called Mr. Kaufman. This movie doesn’t even come close to the Troma campiness or humor. Even look for a cameo from Troma head honcho Lloyd Kaufman. This movie has a few redeeming moments; a few laugh-out-loud jokes lots of random naked women and buckets of spattered blood. I found myself loving every gory moment! Sadly, the in-between parts fail; there is no substance to Creep Van.

Tonya Kay (Creep Van)
The whole subplot with Campbell’s friend Bon and his sex crazed mistress seems like a whole other movie within itself. I’m pretty sure these were just added for pure shock value. My favorite scene in the movie comes from Tonya Kay (the irate Woman at Gas Station), who is on-screen for less than 5 minutes. Maybe they should have had her play Amy. Anyway, the scene involves Tonya’s very memorable death.  Also keep an eye out for Swami Ted (Collin Bernsen) who seems like a cross between Ted Nugent and Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski. I would have liked if Swami Ted was the main hero; but that would be entirely different movie. Creep Van seems like it’s trying to do too much, yet somehow lacks any substance. Despite this being a gory throwback to the 80’s classics but I wasn’t satisfied with the delivery.
Creep Van Sexy Mistress
Bon and his sex crazed mistress
Rating:   It Was OK (Had so much potential)
Buy now on DVD!

Check out the Trailer...

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